Guest Guest Posted June 18, 2004 Report Share Posted June 18, 2004 This time about Americans... Subject: Only in America .... For those who need a smile! Only in America......do drugstores make the sick people walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front. Only in America......do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke. Only in America.....do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters Only in America......do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage. Only in America......do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight. Only in America......do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'. Only in America......do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering. EVER WONDER ... Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin? Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed? Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"? Why is "abbreviated" such a long word? Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"? Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons? Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker? Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour? Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food? Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes? Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections? You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?! Why don't sheep shrink when it rains? Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together? If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress? If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal? Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the stupidity and send this to someone you want to bring a smile to (maybe even a chuckle)...in other words, send it to everyone. We all need to smile every once in a while Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest ali Posted June 21, 2004 Report Share Posted June 21, 2004 aalubaidi@yahoo.com مذيح سأل سعدي الحلي قله وين اتحب اتقضى وقت الفراغ مالك فقال سعدي الحلي...احب اقضيها بسوف الخضره عد اللى ايبيعون خس فسأل المذيع ليش قال سعدي... حتى اقلهم ابيش الراس www.a-alaubaidi.8m.com Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J Thomas Posted June 21, 2004 Report Share Posted June 21, 2004 Here is an iraqi joke I found in a book of international stories, about 20 years ago. I don't know whether it is funny but even if it is not funny it might be worth some thought. ---- A weaver bought a monkey and took it home, he wanted it to weave for him. He sat down at the loom and showed the monkey how he wove cloth, but the monkey only laughed at him. Then the monkey jumped up into the rafters and kept laughing. When the man stopped for dinner the monkey sprang down and grabbed some food which he ate in the rafters. The man thought about his problem and came up with an idea. He went out and brought in a sheep. He started showing the sheep how to weave at the loom. The monkey laughed. After all how can a sheep weave, a sheep has no hands. The man sat the sheep at the loom and ordered it to weave and it just baaahed at him. The man yelled "I showed you how to weave and you don't do it!" and he cut off the sheep's head. Then the monkey jumped down from the rafters and started weaving as fast as he could. And this is where we get the aphorism, "Kill the sheep so the monkey will learn." ---- Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest Posted August 24, 2004 Report Share Posted August 24, 2004 I got this fron Alsader city... اخر نكته على مقتدى… من المظاهر الواضحه في السوق العراقيه هو انتشار بيع صور مقتدى في السوق في احداها يرفع اصبعا امام وجهه والاخرى يرفع اصبعين امام وجهه ذهبت امراه شروكيه من الثوره الى السوق لتشتري صوره لمقتدى فسالت البائع: المراه : يمه اريدن صوره لسيد مقتدى البائع: أي يمه تريديهه ام الاصبع لو ام الاصبعين المراه : لايمه لا.. كتلك اريدن صوره مو نعال Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest فد واحد Posted August 24, 2004 Report Share Posted August 24, 2004 هههههههههه هاي حلوه Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest فد واحد Posted August 24, 2004 Report Share Posted August 24, 2004 زين بله شوفو هاي النكته الرئيس القائد الفلته.. مرة جمع القيادة.. گللهم: راح نسوي إنتخابات ، بس اللي يرشح نفسه لازم إسمه يبدأ بحرف صاد وينتهي بحرف ميم... گام عزت گال: آني سيدي.. گلله:شلون ولك إنته؟ گلله: سيدي مو إنته مرة من ردت احچي بالإجتماع گتلي: إنچب صرم. محشش فتح الثلاجه شاف الجلي يرجف گلله: لا تخاف ما آكلك.. جيت اشرب مي بس. أحول تزوج على مرته... طلعت هيه نفسهه. باااي Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest فد واحد Posted August 26, 2004 Report Share Posted August 26, 2004 هلاو اشو هاي بس اني احجي يله المهم هاي بعد نكات واحد گال لخطيبته: إشچانوا يدلعوچ وانتي زغيرة؟ گالتله: ميمي ... وانته؟ گاللهه: ابو خنـّينه. إيراني تزوج يابانيه..... صار عدهم ولد سموه: آية الله سوزوكي. توأم شاف أخوه، گلله: وينك يمعود ..؟ مو أهلي طهروني مرتين. باااااااااي Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest_Tajer Posted August 26, 2004 Report Share Posted August 26, 2004 Ha ha ha!.. That is really great! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest ديج هرتي Posted August 27, 2004 Report Share Posted August 27, 2004 يمعودين بدل ما تكتبون النكات هنا تعالوا وشوفوا موقعي... كلما أسكر أحط جم نكته www.geocities.com/iraqinukat Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Bahir Posted August 27, 2004 Report Share Posted August 27, 2004 اثنين يتمشون في مدينه الصدر وشافوا واحد لابس عمامة حمره .. فالاول سأل هذا شو لا هو سيد ولا هو شيخ ... والثاني جاوب لك لا هذا انضباط بجيش المهدي Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest Posted August 27, 2004 Report Share Posted August 27, 2004 أبو خالد سمع الناس تحچي بالإنتخابات.. گال: آني إذا ترشح علاوي أنتخبه.. لأنه (من وره) كل علاوي يجي كل الخير Friom http://www.geocities.com/iraqinukat/nukat.htm Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest Posted August 27, 2004 Report Share Posted August 27, 2004 دليمي راكب بهليكوبتر... گال للكابتن: بروح أبوك ماتطفينه المروحه الفوگ.. تراهه بردت شويه From same site above Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest Posted August 27, 2004 Report Share Posted August 27, 2004 دليمي هوه ومرته إجه يمهم صاروخ، صاح بمرته: إنبطحي ولچ!! گالتله: هوه هسه وكتهه؟ From same site Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest_Mutergem Posted August 27, 2004 Report Share Posted August 27, 2004 حرامي كمشته وحده سمينه حيل، نامت عليه وگلت لزوجهه: بسرعه .. خابر الشرطه .. گاللها زوجها: هوه شگد الرقم؟؟ گلله الحرامي: 111 بسرعه يمعود That is fantastic..Let me translate A robber was caught by huge fat lady, She sit on him and called her hasbend to call police quickly.. The haspened was confused , and asked what the number, the robber sufficating "911 pleaaaase in a hury"! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest Posted August 27, 2004 Report Share Posted August 27, 2004 واحد ناصرية يرجم الشيطان وهو متلثم سألوه الناس ليش؟؟ گاللهم: يمكن أحتاجه فد يوم Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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